Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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