BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
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