If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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