the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
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