I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
That accounts for only three of the penises
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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