I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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