She is in my trunk
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
