based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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