what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
