so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Houston, we have a squirter
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
