Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
