I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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