I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
