just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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