Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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