Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
