but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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