Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
