I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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