Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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