Umm I'm too high to move.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
