it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
