No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
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I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
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You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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