YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
