let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
