somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
