i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
