i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
He kissed a someone with a penis
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
