i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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