he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
