Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
