There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize