so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
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So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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