I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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