i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
we're making bets on your personal life
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
