I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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