Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
