Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
