Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize