It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
