hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He shit in the fireplace
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
