I hate your face
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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