god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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