you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I party with great urgency now.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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