i wish starbucks made bloody marys
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
