FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
