I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
