Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
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