I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
