So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
