I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
