Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize