The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Randomize
