I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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