You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
