WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
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